Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about balance and how important this is for us at every stage in our lives. I think we all tend to get on this treadmill of lists and projects and obligations. One day, about two weeks ago, I decided to not make a list in order to see if my life and work could somehow get along without it. I lasted two days. I felt things were out of control. Was I forgetting something important? Did I forget to ship an order or answer an email? Did I promise something and did not follow through? All these worries were pulling at me and wanting answers. I went back to The List. As I was scrolling through my photos, I suddenly realized I had actually taken a photo of The List. I feel I should be disturbed by this, but in a way, I find it quite liberating that I actually documented something most people would consider silly. And yet, this is how we run our lives on a daily basis. Maybe I was documenting something that might be an artifact for my grandchildren one day. "Wow,can you believe our grandmother actually wrote a handwritten list?" This could be a collectible like the old ledgers are now. On Sunday I had the most amazing experience, an invitation to view an indescribably beautiful private garden. Suddenly I was transported to a portion of my heart that had been neglected, a love of digging in the dirt, dead-heading roses, cleaning the beds, and most of all, just being in that very special, restorative place. This special journey brought me back to myself and how important balance is in our lives full of expectations and passions. We need to learn how to bring all of these interests and passions into our lives without losing sight of why we are here and why this matters and what we are doing to sustain this. My youngest daughter is to have a baby boy in the next few days. This will be my last grandchild. I am full of anticipation as well as poignant hesitation. This is a crossroad in life. The clock will be set in motion by the needs of a new birth, a new life, and renewed hope. Balance? Somehow when a new child is born the list is put aside and considered absolutely unnecessary as well as essential. This is a very good time to take note of rhythm and floating time.